LOVE vs HATE 3: Twilight in Neitherland
by Cartoonofan
Summary: Starlight is assigned to make friends with someone she has little in common with, and struggles with it. Meanwhile, H.A.T.E abducts Lydia Deetz to use her to make Beetlejuice juice L.O.V.E. Can they overcome the ghost with the most?
1. A Peaceful Pines kidnapping

L.O.V.E vs. H.A.T.E #3

"Twilight in Neitherland"

I'd like to thank Demonwolfe for suggesting this plot and all the other ideas he's offered. I had to make some changes for the good of the story, or for humor purposes, but I think he'll see that I attempted to use as many of his suggestions as possible.

* * *

It was a regular day in the headquarters of the League to Oppose Villainous Endeavors, and Twilight Sparkle was using the opportunity to school Starlight on the ways of friendship.

"Starlight, you haven't had any friendship lessons since we left Equestria," she said.

"I know, but we've been busy…"

"Actually, being here has given us a large opportunity for you to learn about friendship," Twilight told her "we've met many new allies during our time here, and your lesson for today is to find one you have little in common with and have a conversation with them."

"What? But if we don't have much in common, what will we talk about?"

"Find out what their interests are and talk about them," Twilight told her "you'll find that if, even if two ponies are radically different, they can become friends; and I should know."

"Well, if you can do it, so can I," Starlight said, although her tone indicated that she wasn't quite sure herself.

"That's the spirit!" Twilight said "now, I have a few things to attend to, so come back to me when you've got a report ready."

"Yes Twilight."

* * *

So Starlight set out to find a new friend from the members of L.O.V.E and decided to focus her attentions on Wander first.

"Well, if it's friendship you're looking for, you came to the right person," Wander told her "I'm pretty much the friendliest person in the universe!"

"So I'm sure you know how to make friends with people who don't like the same things as you?" Starlight asked.

"Oh yes indeed," Wander said "I find the trick is to start with a smile and a good hug. Nobody can hate you if they're hugging you."

"Except Lord Hater," Sylvia chimed in.

"Well now, Hater's a special case," Wander added "he's still kind of a grumpy grump pants, but I'm working on him, and I think there's real improvement there."

"Jeez Wander, you're being naïve," Sylvia said "look kid, some people aren't gonna like you, it's a fact of life. And if they don't, great, you can always punch 'em in the nose."

"Now Sylvia, that's not good advice," Wander said "after all, you catch more flies with honey."

"What the heck does that even mean?" Sylvia asked "why would anyone want to catch flies? And since when do flies like honey?"

"I guess bees would make more sense," Wander replied "but bees make honey, so I guess they wouldn't need any, would they? Hmm, that's quite a confusing statement."

"Try not to spend too much time figuring it out," Sylvia told him.

"You know what, I'll just show myself out," Starlight said, as she left the room.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the small Connecticut town of Peaceful Pines, a van pulled up outside a rather large house. Out of the van emerged Verminous Snaptrap & Peepers, both wearing brown coveralls, with Larry, Ollie, & Francisco coming out soon later.

"I tell you, this is not going to work," Peepers told him.

"Just let me do all the talking, okay," Snaptrap replied as the villains made their way to the door. "Okay boys, you know what to do," Snaptrap ordered, as Francisco & Ollie moved to the side of the door, holding a large sack at the ready.

In the house, young Lydia Deetz was in her darkroom, unaware of the danger that would soon befall her.

"Deadly vu, these are probably my best pictures yet," Lydia Deetz said, as she poured over the new photographs she was developing "I can't wait to show them to Beetlejuice."

As the girl hung up another photo, she heard a knock at the door. "Coming," she called, but she wasn't sure if anyone could hear.

Once she finished, she walked over to the door and opened it, "um…can I help you?" Lydia asked, barely believing what she saw

"Yes, we're house painters," Snaptrap told her "your parents hired us to paint the place. Are they here?"

"No, mother & father are out right now."

"Well, maybe you could just let us in so we can get started."

"I'm sorry, but how stupid do you think I am?" Lydia asked.

"Come again?"

"Oh come on, you're not a housepainter, you're clearly a large rat in a coveralls & a fake mustache," Lydia pointed out "and he's some kind of, eyeball thing," she added, pointing at Peepers.

"Hey, now just a minute, missy, I resent such slanderous accusations," Snaptrap countered "I am too a housepainter," he added, before his mustache promptly fell off "must not be using enough wax."

"I don't know what this is all about, but if it's a joke, it's not funny!" Lydia said "now, you'd better explain yourselves before I call the police!"

"Now hold on little girl, I'm sure we can come to an… get her boys!" Snaptrap yelled, and, before Lydia even had a chance to react, Ollie & Francisco dropped the sack over her.

"Hey, what is this?! Let me out of here! Help! Help!" Lydia yelled.

"Keep it down in there, sacky," Snaptrap told her, before turning to Peepers "and you said this wouldn't work."

"She saw through our disguises," Peepers pointed out.

"Hey, we got her, didn't we?" Snaptrap reminded him "no thanks to Larry."

"What did I do?" Larry asked.

"Absolutely nothing; thanks for being useless Larry. At least Ollie & Francisco had the sack."

"Hey boss, we'd better get out of here before someone sees us," Ollie suggested.

"Good suggestion; see Larry, why couldn't you think of that?"

"But, I…"

"Never mind, back to headquarters," Snaptrap ordered, and the villains left the house, and made their way back to the van; Ollie & Francisco loaded the sack with Lydia, who was still squirming & screaming as much as her bag prison would allow, into the back and they took off.

* * *

An hour or so later, the villains arrived at one of the many headquarters of D.O.O.M. Snaptrap left his men to deal with Lydia while he changed back into his labcoat. After that was done, he headed to the meeting room, only to encounter someone he didn't expect to see waiting for him.

"Khyber? What are you doing in my base?"

"Chrysalis sent me here to ensure that everything goes smoothly; apparently, she figured you'd screw this up somehow."

"Thanks for coming, but I can assure you, there's nothing wrong," Snaptrap told him.

With that, he entered the room and saw what was happening; Lydia had been tied to a chair, but she was still fighting, and swung the chair anytime any of the D.O.O.M members, but mostly Larry, got too close to her.

"Oh, hi boss, we were just about to finish up with the girl here, ahh!" Larry said, as Lydia swung her chair at him.

"You creeps keep away from me!" she said.

"Dang it Larry, can't you do anything right?" Snaptrap asked "do you want me to replace you with Bad Dog? Don't think I won't!"

"I'm sorry boss, it's just that, she's not making this easy for us...oof!" Larry replied, as Lydia brained him again with the chair.

"Yes, I can see that you and your men have everything under control," Khyber replied sarcastically.

Eventually, the D.O.O.M members managed to grab Lydia enough to tie her ankles, making her unable to swing her chair bound body at them. Now helplessly bound, Lydia hoped to talk her way out of her captivity.

"I'm not sure what this is about, but I think you have the wrong girl," she explained "my parents aren't very rich; they can't afford to pay you much ransom."

"I can assure you Miss Deetz, money is the least of our concerns," Khyber told her.

"Hey, speak for yourself; running an organization of evil isn't cheap you know," Snaptrap told him.

"Obviously, you know who I am, but I've never seen any of you before," Lydia said "so why don't you tell me what this is all about."

"We simply need you as an incentive to convince a certain friend of yours to help us," Khyber explained.

"Friend? What friend?"

"You can cut the act; we know all about your friend Beetlejuice & the Neitherworld," Khyber told her "and you're going to tell us how we can bring him here."

"Listen, I have no idea what you're talking about," Lydia lied "'Neitherworld?' What is that? Sounds made up to me. Maybe you should just let me go, and…"

"So that's the way you want to play it?" Khyber asked "very well then; send him in."

"Hey, this is my base, I give the orders around here!" Snaptrap said angrily "send him in."

Lydia watched as someone she knew arrived in the room, someone she never expected to see.

"Mr. Monitor?" she asked, surprised "what are you doing here?"

"Long story; I encountered these guys and they related to me their problems with their enemies," the TV headed monster said "eventually, I brought up Beetlejuice, and they thought he sounded just like what they needed, so they cooked up a brilliant scheme to get him to work for them. And the best thing is, I get to film the whole deal; I mean, it has everything, heroes, villains, kidnapping, blackmail. It'll be a ratings smash."

"Well, now that I know what you want, I'll never help you!" Lydia said defiantly "and there's nothing you can do to make me, nothing!"

"We could torture you," Khyber pointed out.

"Yeah, I have a lot of tortures I've been wanting to use on someone who isn't Larry," Snaptrap added.

"Then again, 'never' is a pretty strong word," a nervous Lydia replied "maybe we can come to some kind of compromise?"

* * *

In the next chapter, Starlight's attempt to make another friend falls flat. And the "ghost with the most" learns the plight of his mortal friend, but will it be enough to persuade him to help H.A.T.E?


	2. Blackmail & Beetlejuice

Back in G.O.O.D HQ, Starlight was overcoming her past failure and trying her friendship lesson anew with a different person.

"I think it's nice that you're trying to make friends with someone whose different from you," Freakazoid told her "of course I'll be your friend."

"Thanks," Starlight said "to be fair, there's really no one here that I have so little in common with as you."

"A thank you," Freakazoid replied in a weird voice "so, what do you want to do? Look at cat videos on the internet? I hear they have one where a cat flies a drone. That's gotta be against FAA regulations, but it sounds so darn cute!"

"Um, no thanks."

"Ooh, wanna criticize _Game of Thrones?_ " Freakazoid asked excitedly "like, why is Hodor so tall? What's up with that?"

"I don't think…"

"I know, we can make balloon animals!" he said, pulling out several balloons, and, after some trying, managed to put them together "it's a doggie," he commented "his name is Rex. Good boy Rex, good boy...no boy, not on the carpet! Bad dog, we don't do that in the house!

"I'm beginning to think this was a huge mistake," Starlight said "I don't want to fail my assignment, but I'm not sure this is going to work out."

"Oh come on Starlight, give it a chance," Freakazoid told her "I'm sure we can figure out something. After all, I'm good friends with your pal Pinkie, and if I can find common ground with one talking pony, I'm sure I can with another. Wow, there's something I never thought I'd ever say; along with 'I'd like to thank everyone for this Emmy.'

"You do kind of remind me of Pinkie," Starlight said "I guess we can try again."

"That's the spirit," Freakazoid told her "after all, when the going gets tough, we give up and blame it on foreigners; that's the American way!"

Starlight giggled "I'll admit one thing, you sure are funny. Even if I don't always understand what you're saying."

"Thank you, and I promise that I'll stay here with you all day. It'll be just you and I, no distractions of any kind."

Naturally, that was the cue for Cosgrove to somehow arrive.

"Hey Freakazoid, you wanna go see the _LEGO Batman Movie_?"

"Do I?!" Freakazoid yelled and jumped into the car "hurry, we gotta get there in enough time for me to buy snacks. I can't enjoy a movie without Sno Caps."

"I never liked those, I'm more of a Jujubes guy," Cosgrove said, as the car drove off.

"Okay, strike two friendship wise," Starlight said "maybe I'll go see if Twilight needs my help on any spells. At least that I can do," she added, sighing as she walked off.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at D.O.O.M headquarters, Lydia was being subjected to the most devious, evil torture known to man; listening to Larry talk

"So the other day, I accidentally gave the boss cheese, which he can't have, and he swelled up like a balloon," Larry droned on "so he throws me in the shark tank. He's always throwing me in there; I've started carrying a snorkel around with me just in case. I mean, I'm his brother in-law and he shows me no respect. Even though I can be a good villain; in fact, once I…"

"Please, no more! I can't take it!" Lydia shouted "this is inhuman!"

"Oh, like you're so fun to listen to?" an angry Larry replied.

"Shut up Larry, or you're going in the shark tank," Snaptrap told him "so, are you ready to tell us how to summon your friend?"

 _Sure am ratboy_ Lydia thought _because when I do, I'll be in the Neitherworld and your plans are finished._

"All right, I'll show you," Lydia said wearily, although secretly, she was smiling knowing that she would soon escape. "Though I know I should be wary, still I venture someplace scary; ghostly hauntings I turn loose, Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Bee…mmph!"

Lydia didn't have time to finish the chant before Ollie stuffed a wad of cloth in her mouth. Before she could spit it out, Francisco smoothed a strip of duct tape over it. Then, Ollie tied a cloth over that, effectively muffling her.

"Thank you for providing us with the info we needed," Khyber told her "I do hope you weren't planning to summon your friend so he could free you. You see, we have need of your company for a while longer, I'm afraid."

Lydia said something to the evil hunter, but it was heavily muffled due to the triple gag she had on.

"Now we need to contact our dear Mr. Juice and explain to him our little proposition," Khyber said.

"Ooh, and I know just how to do it, too," Snaptrap said " it's guaranteed to work."

"That would be a first for you," Khyber told him "but hurry, we need to get this done."

* * *

Some time later, in the strange land known as the Neitherworld, the ghost known as Beetlejuice was sitting on the couch in the Roadhouse watching TV.

"We now return to 'Wheel of Misfortune,'" the announcer blared "and here's your host, Pat Slayjak."

"Ahh, one of my all time favorite game shows," Beetlejuice commented "I especially love watching Vanna Fright turn the letters around; she's one puzzle I wouldn't mind solving, know what I mean?"

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"It never fails, someone always bothers you when you're trying to watch TV," BJ said, and floated over to open the door. Behind it was his skeleton neighbor, Jacques La Lean.

"Beetlejuice, I have not been able to find my mail," Jacques told him "you did not steal it, did vous?"

"Jacques, you wound me," Beetlejuice said, with a posh accent "how could you accuse me, your dear friend, of stealing your mail?"

"Because, it is zee kind of dirty & underhanded thing you would do."

"That's true," Beetlejuice said proudly "but I didn't do it. Why don't you contact the ghost office and see if they know what happened."

"Ah oui, I shall do zat," Jacques said "perhaps it was a simple misunderstanding."

"Yeah sure, whatever," Beetlejuice said, before shutting the door, "can you believe that guy, accusing me of stealing his mail? Well, time to look through his mail I stole."

"Okay, let's see what we got here," BJ said, as he flipped through the different envelopes, one of which shocked him "electric bill," he said weakly, before grabbing one that rang "phone bill," he commented, before grabbing a duck's beak "duck bill."

Beetlejuice then opened another letter, as a large pile of garbage fell out of it. "Junk mail, my personal favorite," he added then opened one envelope and dumped the contents on the floor.

It was a broom and some tent pegs; "ah, must be a 'sweep stakes' entry," he said.

"Well that was hardly worth it, old bone brain didn't have anything good worth taking," Beetlejuice complained "I mean, I was at least expecting a scare package from his mother or something. Oh 'well'," he said, turning into a portable well.

He transformed back and sat down to the watch his show. "Hmm, I haven't heard from Lyds all day," he mused "maybe it's time for me to pop over and see how she's doing," he added, turning into a large balloon, with an arm coming out and popping him.

After he reformed himself, there was another knock at the door.

"Not this again," he said, throwing the door open, "look bone bag, I don't care what the ghost office said, I didn't…" he was cut off after realizing it wasn't Jacques outside the door.

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Monitor, my least favorite Neitherworld TV executive," he said "what brings you here?"

"I have a great new series coming up, and I want you to star in it."

"Forget it, I'm not interested; uh, what does it pay?"

"Nothing."

"Then I'm really not interested," Beetlejuice replied "now scram!"

"Oh, I think you'll change your tune, Beetlejuice, once you see this," Mr. Monitor told him, and pulled a photo of his suit and handed it to him.

Beetlejuice looked at the photo, which featured Lydia, her hands free, but her arms still bound to a chair, holding a newspaper; a blindfold was tied over her eyes as well.

"Hey, it's Lyds," BJ commented "but what's with the blindfold? Is she playing pin the tail on the fire breathing dragon?"

"No, look at the date on the newspaper," Mr. Monitor ordered.

"Why? Nobody reads newspapers anymore; those things are deader than I am."

"I suspected the photo wouldn't be enough; fortunately, I have a little, visual aid," Mr. Monitor told him "watch the screens," he added, before his four screens changed into the form of Lydia, still blindfolded & holding a newspaper.

"Hey babes, when did you get your own show?" Beetlejuice asked, unaware that she couldn't hear him.

"Beetlejuice, if you are watching this, I have been kidnapped," Lydia said, in an emotionless voice "I have not been harmed, and I will be released if you agree to their demands."

"Hey, how about a little more emotion?" Snaptrap asked from offscreen.

"I'm sorry, it's hard for me to be excited about being kidnapped and used to blackmail my best friend!" Lydia yelled in response.

"That's it, channel that passion," Snaptrap told her.

"Don't help them BJ, whatever they want, don't do it!" Lydia pleaded.

"Hey, no going off script!" Snaptrap yelled, before the video feed cut out.

"Lydia!" Beetlejuice yelled, before jumping on Mr. Monitor and grabbing him by the lapels, "okay Monitor, you tell me where Lyds is right now, or I'll rewire you until the only thing you'll be able to broadcast is public access!"

"Hold on there Beetlejuice; you hurt me, and my associates will see to it that you never see Lydia again," Mr. Monitor told him.

Angry, Beetlejuice released his hold on the lapels "okay, what do you want me to do?"

"You're going to cause some problems for a group of heroes," Mr. Monitor told him "one of my associates will contact you later with the details."

"You mean you want me to prank a bunch of guys? Why didn't ya just ask, I would've done it for free. Well, not for free exactly, but you know what I mean."

"True, but we needed to make sure we had a little 'extra leverage' to insure you cooperated," Mr. Monitor told him.

"Well if it's leverage you want, why didn't you say so?" BJ asked, and turned into a large crowbar "you need to enjoy a 'causal fling,'" he said, and, lifting himself under Mr. Monitor, sent him flying out the door.

"I'm such a stinker," Beetlejuice commented, as he morphed into a skunk.

* * *

In the next chapter, Beetlejuice begins juicing the L.O.V.E members, forcing them to recruit someone who can go pun for pun with the wily ghost. Also, Lydia makes an attempt to escape.


	3. BJ has some fun

In a rural area, a contingent consisting of Khyber, Snaptrap and the Lobe gathered.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Khyber said, and, after a few seconds, a grey skinned creature in a striped suit appeared before him "I take it you're Beetlejuice?"

"If I'm not, then I've a got a severe identity crisis," Beetlejuice told him "whoa pal, I think you need to lie down. You look a little 'green,'" he added, snickering at his joke.

"Hilarious," Khyber replied dryly.

"Jeez, this guy's a real barrel of laughs; good thing I have a spare one," he said, taking a barrel labeled "laughs" out of his coat and opening it, leading to a series of guffaws emanating from it.

"If you're quite done with the jokes, perhaps we can down to business."

"Killjoys, you know I hate 'em," Beetlejuice said, to no one in particular.

"We want you to infiltrate the headquarters of our arch-enemies," Snaptrap explained "well, not my arch-enemies, that would be T.U.F.F. Maybe you could do them next."

"Look ratboy, the only reason I'm doing this in the first place is because you guys got Lyds," Beetlejuice explained "well, that and because I love pranking saps."

"I can assure you, these are quite the group of saps," Lobe said.

"Who's this guy, the 'brains' of the outfit?" Beetlejuice asked, with a snort.

"No further delays; do whatever you like to them, just bring them to us," Khyber ordered, then you shall get your precious Lydia back."

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Beetlejuice grumbled "just remember; once Lyds is safe, I'm coming back for you guys," he added before disappearing.

"Do you really think we can trust him?" Lobe asked.

"He'll do what he's told as long as we have his little friend," Khyber said "and once he does, the girl will be of no further use to us. She must be disposed of."

"Whoa, hang on!" Snaptrap protested "kidnapping a girl is one thing, but killing her? Even I'm not that evil!"

"If that's how you feel, I'll make the arrangements myself," Khyber told him "and, after Beetlejuice finishes our little task, I'll send him back to his Neitherworld, permanently."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the D.O.O.M base, Lydia was straining against her bonds in an attempt to free herself. However, her efforts were in vain, and she was unable to loosen the ropes.

Moments later, Larry walked by, and she began to talk as much as her gag would allow, hoping to get his attention.

"What, you want something?" Larry asked, with Lydia nodding her head in agreement. "You're not gonna scream, are you?" he asked her, with Lydia again nodding in affirmation.

"Alright," Larry said, and removed the layers of gag; once they were free, Lydia coughed before addressing him.

"Could I please have some water? My throat's a little dry," she asked hoarsely.

"Sure, I guess that would be okay," Larry said, and left the room. He returned with a cup and held it up to her lips so the girl could drink.

"Thank you," Lydia told him, once she was done "I'm sorry about saying that listening to you talk was horrible; I can see that you're not as mean as your boss."

"Hey, that's not true, I can be just as bad as him if I want," Larry replied defensively.

"I remember you mentioning that your boss treats you horribly," Lydia said "that doesn't seem fair; you're obviously a very loyal and important member of this group."

"I'm glad someone thinks so."

"You know what would teach your boss a lesson? If you let me go," Lydia added.

"Sorry, but I can't do that," Larry said "the boss would be really upset if that happened. You'll just have to stay here until your ghost friend does what we want."

"Story of my life," Lydia replied.

"What do you mean?"

"You think you're the first bad guys who've kidnapped me to get to Beetlejuice? If I had a dime for every time that's happened, I'd have at least 2 months allowance."

"How much would that be, exactly?" Larry asked.

"Let's just say, it's a lot," Lydia told him "anyway, I don't enjoy being tied up and waiting for BJ to rescue me, but it's not the first time it's happened."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Larry said.

"It's not your fault," Lydia told him "look, I know I can't convince you to let me go, but do you think you could at least loosen some of these ropes?"

"Well…"

"How about the ones on my feet; please?" Lydia asked, trying to be as charming as she could.

"Okay, I guess there's no harm in that," Larry said, and loosened the ropes tied around the girls' ankles.

"Thanks Larry, that's much better," Lydia replied.

Larry gave her some more water before replacing her gags. After he left, Lydia took advantage of her now loosened bonds and shifted them until they fell away. With her feet now free, Lydia stood up as much as the chair would allow.

 _I hope this works_ she thought, as she hopped over to the wall _I've got to get loose and stop Beetlejuice before he does something he'll regret. Well, more so than usual._

* * *

Back at G.O.O.D headquarters, Starlight was helping her mentor look through some assorted books.

"So, what are we looking for exactly?" she asked

"Nothing in particular; I just enjoy learning about whatever I can," Twilight told her "although, I do recall finding an interesting entry in one of these. It was about someplace called 'the Neitherworld,' a land inhabited by the dead."

"Sounds scary," Starlight said.

"Yes, I guess it is," Twilight replied "although I seem to recall the book said the Neitherworld can be accessed by the living, but it requires a special chant to do so. Wouldn't it be interesting to see if we could go there? Who knows what we might see."

"Um, dead things."

"Well, yes, obviously," Twilight replied "but you're missing the big picture; we could be the first ponies in history to talk with those who came before us. Ooh, I wonder if Starswirl the Bearded is there! To think, to be able to actually talk with the greatest wizard in Equestria's history! How great would that be?"

"Actually, that would be pretty interesting," Starlight replied.

"Unfortunately, it didn't say what the chant was," Twilight told her "oh well, I guess that's a secret lost to time."

However, neither pony noticed the striped suited figure that was watching from nearby.

"Ponies, you know I hate 'em," Beetlejuice said "I'm gonna enjoy giving these cute little horses the juicing of a lifetime. Or an 'afterlife time', in my case."

So saying, he pointed his finger and zapped the book Twilight was reading. Immediately, the words began popping out.

"Huh? What's happening?"

"Sometimes when you've got a good book, the words just 'fly' off the page," Beetlejuice commented before he quickly disappeared.

"How is this happening? I didn't do this," Twilight said.

"Hey, how's it going?"

Twilight looked down and saw a weird face in the page of her book. She screamed and jumped back, before Beetlejuice popped out of the book, appearing before her.

"W-w-what are you?" a curious Twilight asked.

"My card," Beetlejuice said, handing her a card from his jacket.

Twilight took it in her hoof and looked at it "this is a playing card," she said, turning it over to reveal a Joker card.

"I know, I'm a real Joker," Beetlejuice said, before popping himself into the card "now I'm a real 'card'" he added.

"All right, annoying puns aside, who are you and what do you want?"

"Jeez, what's with the third degree?" Beetlejuice asked, turning into a thermometer "can't a guy just show up somewhere without being 'grilled?'" he asked, changing into a grill with his head as meat.

"Look pal, you'd better tell me who you are, or, so help me…" Twilight said, her temper rising.

"Name's Beetlejuice, the ghost with the most."

"The most what?" Starlight asked.

"Smell, for one thing," Beetlejuice, lifting his armpits and taking a whiff "oh yeah, still got it."

"Ew, why would you want it?" Starlight asked, as she and Twilight attempted to protect their senses from the wafting line of stink that was assaulting them.

"Anyway, I just came here to haunt your little haunt," Beetlejuice explained.

"Wait, so you're a ghost?" a confused Twilight asked "but that's impossible, ghosts aren't real."

"Neither are unicorns, and yet I'm arguing with one," Beetlejuice told her, "anywho, I hate to 'horn' in, but I'm not going anywhere," he added, before producing a horn from his forehead "at least, not until I've had my fun."

"Very well, I didn't want to have to do this," Twilight said, as her horn glowed, and she fired a magic blast right him, charring him.

"Whoa, hot stuff," Beetlejuice said, before turning into ashes.

"Oh no! I didn't mean to fry him; that was just meant to teleport him away!" Twilight said, worriedly.

But she spoke too soon, as the pile of ashes suddenly reconstituted themselves back into Beetlejuice.

"Nice try Mrs. Ed; but I'm a ghost, I'm already dead," Beetlejuice explained "now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some haunting to do," he added, before disappearing.

"Now what do we do?" Starlight asked.

"I don't know, I've never faced a ghost before!" Twilight told her "but maybe someone else around here has. Let's ask around."

* * *

"Scum de dum dum dum," Beetlejuice hummed as he floated through the building, "now that I've horsed around with those two ponies, it's time to see what other suckers I can surprise with my bag 'o tricks," he said, pulling said bag out of his coat.

Beetlejuice floated into one room, where he noticed Wander tuning his banjo.

"Whoa, check out this guy, he could be the Monster's son," Beetlejuice said "oh man, now I gotta juice this joker. And I know just the trick too."

"Ah, nothing like a little banjo music to lighten things up," Wander said, and began to play.

Suddenly, he felt someone grab him and put him in a chair.

"Oh man, you are hairy all over, you need a little trim," Beetlejuice said, now appearing as a barber "not to worry, I'll just take a little off the top. And even more off of everywhere else."

"Oh my, I really don't need a haircut…" Wander began.

But Beetlejuice ignored him and spun the chair around, then began using scissors on the spinning alien. When it stopped, Wander was completely devoid of hair.

"Oh my goodness, I'm naked!" Wander said.

"Well, you know the old saying, 'hair today, gone tomorrow,'" Beetlejuice replied, then laughed.

"Sir, normally I am not the type to get mad, but your little stunt has me quite peeved," Wander said, slightly angry "so I'll kindly ask that you please restore my hair."

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Beetlejuice commented.

Then the door to Wander's room opened and Twilight & Starlight came in. "Wander, I was wondering if…" she began, before noticing Beetlejuice "there you are!"

"Whoops, looks like I need to 'split,'" Beetlejuice said, transforming into a banana split "banana split, to be precise," he added, before disappearing.

"Who was that rude and unhygienic man?" Wander asked.

"He's a ghost with a rotten sense of humor," Twilight explained "and I see he got to you."

Wander nodded "well, we're trying to find anyone who might have experience dealing with ghosts. I was wondering if you did."

"No, but let me get Sylvia and we'll join you," Wander said "that impolite fellow must be stopped, before he does anything else."

"That's easier said than done," Starlight told him "how do you stop a ghost?"

* * *

Next time, our heroes figure out the perfect person to stop BJ, and learn the reason for his rampage. Also, Lydia's escape attempt doesn't go well.


	4. An Escape attempt and a breakthrough

In another part of the L.O.V.E headquarters, Twilight, Starlight & Wander were running to get away from BJ when they collided with a pair of heroes.

"Jeez, where's the fire?" Kitty Katswell asked.

"No time to talk, the base has been haunted by an extremely smelly ghost," Wander told them.

"Uh oh, who ya gonna call?" Dudley said, but everyone looked at him with confusion "oh come on, are you saying you've seriously never seen that movie?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but we don't have time right now," Twilight told him "I'm going to go back to the library; maybe if I can find a book about spirits, I can figure out how to deal with this Beetlejuice character."

"We'd help you, but I'm afraid we've got our own business right now," Kitty said "the Chief just informed us that D.O.O.M kidnapped a young girl."

"That's terrible," Wander said.

"Didn't you used to have hair?" Dudley asked.

"It's a long story," Wander told him.

"We wouldn't have found out, except Snaptrap bragged about it on his Friendbook Page; that diabolical rat has reached a new low!" Kitty said angrily.

"Yeah, he always turns down my friend requests!" Dudley said, before noticing Kitty glaring at him "oh, you were talking about the whole 'kidnapping' thing, weren't you?" he asked, as Kitty nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Twilight said "we're going to need all the help we can get if we hope to defeat this ghost"

"I got news for ya, that ain't gonna happen," Beetlejuice's voice replied, and suddenly, the whole room was covered in his signature stripes "how do you like my decorating? Great pattern, am I right?"

"All right pal, you'd better get out of here if you know what's good for you," Kitty said.

Beetlejuice simply materialized and yawned "or what? You'll hit me with yarn?"

"Okay, I warned you!" Kitty said, and produced a laser; but when she pulled the trigger, nothing came out except for a gooey substance dripping from the barrel.

"Ooh, looks like your weapon's been 'jammed'; get it?!" Beetlejuice replied.

"Ha ha, that's funny," Dudley said.

"No it's not!" Kitty yelled angrily.

"Lighten up, furface," BJ said, and conjured up a tank of helium, then stuck the hose in Kitty's mouth and inflated her like a balloon.

"Stop that!" Twilight said, and used her magic to restore Kitty to normal.

"Oh, I'm just getting started," Beetlejuice said "you guys haven't even seen what I'm capable of. So buckle up" he added, creating a giant seat belt and tightening it around them "cause there's a storm coming" he finished, with a storm cloud appearing and dumping rain on everyone. BJ then laughed at their misfortune before disappearing.

"Aww man, now I'm gonna smell bad," Dudley commented.

"I see your point, that ghost is tough," Kitty told Twilight "and a real jerk!"

"That's why we have to return to the library ASAP if we have any chance of getting rid of him," Twilight told her "and now may be our best chance."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the D.O.O.M base, Lydia had been slamming her chair into a nearby wall, and finally managed to do so enough that it shattered. With the chair broken, she grabbed a piece with her tied hands and used it to cut them free, then pulled off her layers of gags.

"Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!" she shouted, causing her to disappear.

Mere seconds later, she reappeared in the Neitherworld, now clad in a black bodysuit and red poncho with spider-web designs, right outside the door of BJ's Roadhouse.

Unfortunately, she found her ghostly pal not at home. "Darn it, they must have gotten to him," she said "I'd better get back to the human world and find BJ before he does something he'll regret."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Lydia."

Lydia turned to a part of the Roadhouse and saw Mr. Monitor there. "Beetlejuice messing with those heroes is going to be ratings gold; the script for this has already been written, and you're supposed to be the helpless prisoner."

"Forget it, I'm changing your little script and rewriting my part to save the day," Lydia said "and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"Well now, I wouldn't say that," Mr. Monitor replied.

Lydia wasn't sure what he meant by that, but she didn't have time to think about it, because someone jumped her from behind and pushed her to the ground. She barely had time to react when her mystery attackers grabbed and held her.

"Sorry sweetheart, but we can't have ya calling for Beetlejerk, see?" came the unmistakable voice of Mr. Big.

"Yeah, we want Beetlebum gone, and those other guys will do it for us," Bartholomew Batt added.

"So you're gonna have to be hogtied and kept out of the way until that happens," Jesse Germs said.

"Oh no you don't, Beetle…mmph!" was all Lydia could manage before a cloth was again tied over her mouth.

"Naughty naughty, it's not good to say the name of that icky ghost," Little Miss Warden said, as she tightened the gag.

"All right boys, take care of her, and make sure she can't get loose, see" Mr. Big ordered.

Despite Lydia's best efforts, she couldn't fight off all the villains, and they soon had forced her hands behind her and tied them extra tight. She also couldn't stop them from winding more ropes around her body, pinning her arms to her sides and increasing her helplessness.

Before anything else could happen, the door to the Roadhouse opened again. "Beetlejuice, I went down to the ghost office, and zey told me zey had delivered my mail," Jacques said "so I believe you are…" he stopped after seeing the scene of Lydia lying on the floor, tied up, surrounded by several unsavory characters "I can see zat you are busy, so I will come back another time," he added, before leaving.

Lydia tried to call for Jacques to come back, but the gag muffled her request for help. Soon, she was tied up again.

"Good work everyone, I'll drop her off at D.O.O.M headquarters," Mr. Monitor said "then I think I'll check and make sure Beetlejuice has haunted those guys like he was supposed to."

"Llllvvv hhhmmm llllnnn!" Lydia yelled through her gag.

"What was that Lydia? I didn't quite hear you," Monitor said, before slipping the girl under his arm and heading off.

Lydia squirmed and struggled, knowing she had to find a way to free herself before she was returned to the villains. She didn't want to think about what they'd do to her when they got their hands on her.

* * *

Meanwhile, back with the heroes, Twilight had barricaded them in the library.

"Okay, I looked over several books and I couldn't find anything about dealing with ghosts," she said "but it's okay, there's no need to panic."

"Um, we aren't," Kitty pointed out.

"Oh, right," Twilight said "well, if anyone has any suggestions, now would be a good time to hear them."

"Hey guys, why are you all in this room?" Freakazoid asked, suddenly appearing from nowhere "is this some kind of secret club?"

"Ahh!" Twilight exclaimed, nearly jumping a few inches off the ground "how did you get in here?"

"Old cartoon gag, I'll explain later," he replied "anyway, just came back from seeing _The LEGO Batman_ movie, and, not to give out any spoilers, but it's great. So, what's been going on?"

"A weird striped ghost has been haunting the place, and causing mischief," Wander explained "look what he did to me."

"Is that what happened? I just thought you had an accident with a razor or something," Freakazoid told him "well, did you guys call the Ghostbusters?"

"That's what I suggested," Dudley told him.

"Well, I ain't afraid of no ghost," Freakazoid said "I'll take care of him for you; unless he's ugly and dripping slime or something, in which case, you're on your own."

"I know you have some…oddly defined powers, but I don't think even you could defeat him," Twilight said "even my magic had little effect on him."

"Well, based on what I know about ghosts, which is only what I got from movies, they usually have some unfinished business or something," Freakazoid said "if we talk to the ghost and ask him what's wrong, we can help him deal with it and move on to the other side."

"Jeez, what is it with you humans and thinking ghosts always have some kind of unfinished business or something?" Beetlejuice asked, having suddenly appeared in the room "have you considered that maybe we just like messing with ya?"

"Oh Mr. scary ghost man, with the scariness and the haunting and the being dead," he said in his best Jerry Lewis type voice.

"Pretty good impression there," Beetlejuice replied "you're a regular Lich Little."

"Thanks," Freakazoid replied.

"Okay, now that we got that out of the way, it's time to give this place an extreme makeover."

With that, he transformed the room into a torture chamber, complete with rack, Iron Maiden, and other implements, trapping the assorted heroes in each of them.

"Ah, my kind of place," he commented.

Twilight used her magic to free herself from some stocks. "Okay Mr. ghost, I have just about had it with you!" she said "now you leave us alone right now!"

"Zip it, horse face," Beetlejuice said, causing a zipper to appear on her snout. Twilight however, managed to use her magic to remove it.

"Fine, be that way, but I'll do everything in my power to stop you," Twilight told him "because everyone you've harassed and trapped here are my friends. But I'm sure that's something you know nothing about."

"Hey, I don't need a speech from a pastel colored, sawed-off horse," Beetlejuice told her.

"Well you're getting one!" Twilight told him "maybe you don't know what it's like to have friends, but I do, and friendship is very important to me. In fact, despite all you've done here today, I'd still be willing to your friend," she added "because maybe, all you need is a friend to show you the way."

"Oh please, spare me the sentimental drivel," Beetlejuice replied "I don't need you, or any of these weirdoes as my friends. In fact, I...I…I miss Lyds!" he exclaimed and began crying, which caused the room to revert back to normal, freeing everyone.

"He misses lids? Like what you put on containers?" Dudley asked.

"There there, it's okay," Wander said, patting Beetlejuice on the back "why don't you tell us all about it."

"Usually, I hate this sappy stuff," Beetlejuice said, turning into a tree and starting to ooze sap "but the flying glue factory over there has a point; I do have a best friend, my pal Lydia," he said, conjuring up a picture of her.

"What happened to her?" Twilight asked.

"A bunch of guys kidnapped her, and they threatened to hurt her unless I brought you to them," Beetlejuice explained "and I'd do anything for Lydia; well, her and money."

"Hmm, something tells me this is that kidnapping that Snaptrap was responsible for," Kitty said.

"If they kidnapped your friend, why didn't you just rescue her?" Freakazoid asked.

"I would've, but I don't know where they're keeping her," Beetlejuice explained "usually, me and Lyds stick together like glue," he said, a dummy of Lydia then appearing stuck to him "but since she was kidnapped before she could summon me, I don't know where she is. Oh man, I wish I could get my hands on those guys!"

"Don't worry, we'll help get your friend back and punish those who kidnapped her," Kitty vowed.

"Right, but we need you to tell us everything first," Twilight said.

"Okay, but I've got a pretty long life story. Or 'death story', as the case may be. I was born in the Neitherworld…"

* * *

In the final chapter, our heroes visit the Neitherworld and Snaptrap decides to feed Lydia to his sharks, making it a race against time to rescue her.


	5. Saving Lydia

Back at the D.O.O.M base, Snaptrap had discovered that Lydia escaped and was none too happy about it.

"Nice job Larry!" he said "you know how important that girl was to our plans! If she finds her ghost friend, we're all in trouble!"

"But I didn't do anything," Larry protested.

"I know, but I need to blame someone, so why not you," Snaptrap told him.

"If ghost man figures out we don't have his little buddy as our prisoner anymore, what's to stop him from coming here and putting the haunt on us?" Lord Hater asked.

"For one, he doesn't know where we are, or he would've rescued Miss Deetz already," Khyber told him "besides, we are amply prepared to deal with him if he does."

"You know, we haven't contacted him in a while," Peepers pointed out "we have no way of knowing if he's found out or not."

"True, we used Mr. Monitor to establish communication between us and the ghost," Khyber said.

"Where is TV head anyway?" Hater asked.

"Right here gentlemen, and I brought you a little present," Mr. Monitor said, walking into the room with a still struggling Lydia under his arm. He dropped her on the floor and she emitted a muffled cry when she landed.

"Lydia decided she didn't like the script to our little plan and wanted to change it," Mr. Monitor explained "fortunately for us, I knew she'd go looking for Beetlejerk and was ready for her with an unexpected plot twist."

"Well Miss Deetz, your attempt to escape and contact your ghoulish friend was noble, but ultimately futile," Khyber told her, with Lydia simply glaring angrily at him as she struggled to loosen her bonds. "We cannot afford to allow her to escape again; it's time she was taken care of for good."

Upon hearing that, Lydia gulped nervously.

"Snaptrap, you have a shark tank, I'm told."

"Well yeah, but they haven't eaten in like…Larry, when was the last time I threw you in there?" Snaptrap asked.

"Yesterday," Larry replied.

"Oh, then they should be hungry again," Snaptrap noted.

"Excellent," Khyber said, turning to face Lydia "then I believe they will be happy to feast on something different for once."

"I'll be happy for them to just not chomp on me," Larry added.

Hearing she was going to be the main course for a group of sharks did not make Lydia any less nervous and she resumed her struggles against her ropes, hoping she could free herself before this diabolical plan was brought to play.

 _Beetlejuice, I don't know where you are, but now would be a really great time to show up_ she thought.

* * *

"So that covers up to my teenage years," Beetlejuice said the assembled heroes "so, after highs-ghoul, I…"

"Um, not that this hasn't been, well…" Twilight began.

"Boring?" Starlight suggested.

"That's not what I was going to say," Twilight told her "although that's pretty accurate. Anyway, do you think we could skip ahead to your friend being kidnapped?"

"Oh right," Beetlejuice said "well anyway, old TV face himself Mr. Monitor gives me this video with Lyds, and says I gotta haunt you jokers if I wanna see her again."

"Why didn't you just tell us that before, instead of boring us with your life story?!" Kitty asked angrily.

"Hey, you said you wanted to know everything," Beetlejuice replied "besides, it was funnier that way."

"Okay, I'm sure they'll contact you again, and when, they do, I have an idea that will let us get the drop on them," Twilight told him.

"What kind of drop? Cough or lemon?" Beetlejuice asked before large versions of said drops appeared beside him.

"Does everything have to be a pun?"

"Why knot?" Beetlejuice asked, transforming into a knot "it shows everyone how 'punny' I am!" he added, laughing.

Before Twilight could respond to this, a ringing sound came from the ghost.

"That's for me," Beetlejuice said, taking out a cell phone from his pocket, which emitted a foul odor "smell phone," he explained.

"Just answer it, quick!" Kitty said, holding her nose.

"If this is the bill collector, I told you, the check's in the mail," Beetlejuice said into the phone, "yeah right," he added as an aside.

"It's me Beetlejuice," Mr. Monitor's voice replied from the other side "have you finished dealing with those heroes yet?"

"Oh yeah, I spooked them real good," Beetlejuice lied "they're totally scared."

"Good; round them up and bring them to the D.O.O.M base," Mr. Monitor told him "then I promise that you'll get what's coming to you."

"That seems oddly suspicious, but okay," Beetlejuice replied, before hanging up "Monitor was checking up on me, making sure I scared you guys."

"Yes, we heard," Twilight told him.

"Anyway, he wants me to bring you in," Beetlejuice said "hope you don't mind," he added, turning into a giant brain.

"Actually no, I was expecting something like this," Twilight told him "now, here's what we're going to do…"

* * *

Back at the D.O.O.M HQ, Lydia had been suspended over a tank full of sharks, with a crane slowly lowering her towards the toothy beasts.

"I'm sorry about this kid, but you understand, we have to get rid of all the evidence," Snaptrap told her.

"Don't worry, after they bite you the first time, you barely feel it any other time," Larry said, but that didn't make her feel any better.

"Well, now that the girl is nearly disposed of, we just need her ghost friend to arrive," Khyber said.

Suddenly, Beetlejuice appeared; "wow, that was fast," Hater commented.

"Here ya are Monitor, a bunch of heroes, special delivery," he said, dressed as a delivery guy. He snapped his fingers and Twilight and the others appeared in front of him, in chains.

"You've done well," Khyber said "not only have you defeated several of our enemies and delivered them to us, but you've even brought us their leader, Twilight Sparkle. Chrysalis will be very pleased to have her."

"You haven't won yet!" Twilight said, defiantly.

"Yeah, we still have friends out there, and they'll come for us!" Kitty said.

"Mere formalities," Khyber told them "with you as our prisoners, they will give up easily; Then, we'll be rid of all of you, and this world will be ours."

"Yeah, that's great and all, but I held up my end of the bargain, so…GIVE ME BACK LYDIA!" Beetlejuice yelled.

"Oh I'm afraid that's impossible," Khyber told him "you've both served your purpose, so we don't need either of you anymore. I do hope you enjoy the Neitherworld, because you're going to be stuck there for good."

"Wait, before you send him back, I have to know, how did you guys find about him in the first place?" Twilight asked.

"Oh that's easy," The Lobe said, "you see, I was playing around with a new invention of mine, and I managed to somehow open a portal to the Neitherworld. Well, we met up with Mr. Monitor here, and he convinced us to use the so-called 'ghost with the most' to help us."

"And now that they have, this is the final act for you Beetlejerk," Mr. Monitor said "I'm sure that everyone in the Neitherworld is going to enjoy watching you be humiliated and defeated."

"Guess again, screen for brains," Beetlejuice said, before transforming into a director "because I'm making a few rewrites to your script," he added, a script appearing in his hands "suddenly, the heroes were freed from their chains," he said, as he wrote it.

Indeed the chains fell from the captured heroes, and they stood at the ready.

"Then, they beat up the bad guys, while the handsome, talented, incredibly wealthy, successful…"

"Get on with it!" they yelled.

"Right, sorry," Beetlejuice replied "you guys have a ball," he said, transforming into a ball "I'm gonna go find Lyds," he added, before disappearing.

"Fools! This is my headquarters, you think you can just come in here and…?" Snaptrap asked, before Kitty jumped him and began pummeling him "okay, I guess you can."

While that was going on, over by the shark tank, the winch lowering Lydia was getting dangerously closer to the water, and the girl lifted her legs, as the sharks attempted to get at her. Still, she knew it wouldn't be much longer before she was food for them.

 _Beetlejuice, if you're stalling to increase the drama, stop and get over here! s_ he thought.

"Hang on babes, I'll save you," came a familiar voice, one Lydia was happy to hear.

Beetlejuice zapped himself into the shark tank with a boat, as a crusty old sea captain "avast ye fanged beasts, leave the girl alone," he said, before one of the sharks bit off most of his ship "looks like I'm gonna need a bigger boat," he commented.

"Smile you son of a…shark, I guess," he said, producing an air tank and jamming it into the jaws of one of them. When it was activated, the shark flew out of the tank, with BJ doing the same to the other shark, before grabbing Lydia and jumping out of the tank with her.

"I knew if I was around long enough, I'd 'jump the shark,' eh, babes?" he asked, before freeing her.

"You sure took long enough getting here," Lydia told him, then quickly hugged him "thanks BJ."

"Aw, geez babes, don't mention it," Beetlejuice told her, "seriously, don't mention it, I have a reputation to uphold."

Lydia chuckled "you can still make me laugh Beetlejuice."

"Glad to hear it babes," Beetlejuice said "now, it's time for a little revenge, BJ style!"

"Now Beetlejuice, revenge isn't right, and it only leads to more problems," Lydia told him "but, these guys did kidnap me and tried to feed me to sharks, so I say let 'em have it!"

"Is she great or what, folks?" Beetlejuice asked "if you say so babes, It's showtime!"

* * *

Back in the main room, the heroes were battling their foes.

"You are only delaying the inevitable," Khyber told Freakazoid as he tried to slash him with his sword "there is nothing you can do to prevent yourself from becoming a trophy on my wall."

"Hah, Dodge! Parry! Thrust! other fencing terms!" Freakazoid said, as he dodged the sword blows. Meanwhile, Lord Hater came up behind him and attempted to grab him, but Freak ducked just as he did.

Instead, Hater grabbed Khyber's sword, electrocuting the alien hunter and himself in the process.

"That was shocking," Freakazoid commented.

Meanwhile Kitty had managed to subdue Snaptrap and his D.O.O.M agents, while Dudley used Peepers as a basketball.

"This is truly, my greatest humiliation," he said.

"Good job everyone," Twilight said "looks like things are taken care of here. Lets round up these villains and take them into custody."

"Sorry little lady, but I'm cleaning up this here town," Beetlejuice said, dressed as a janitor "and I'm gonna start with this garbage right here." Turning himself into a giant broom, he swept the villains into a giant dustpan.

"Time to take out the trash," he said, then flung the dustpan forward, sending the villains rocketing through the sky. "I love doing my part to 'clean up' the city," he added.

"Well, the villains escaped, thanks to someone here," Twilight began, narrowing her eyes at Beetlejuice "but we foiled their plan and rescued their hostage, so I guess that's still a victory."

"Um, I did most of the saving and the foiling, thank you," Beetlejuice said.

"Beetlejuice, be nice," Lydia warned him "they did help you, now thank them."

"Aw jeez Lyds, do I have to?"

"Beetlejuice," Lydia said sternly.

"All right, all right," Beetlejuice replied "um, thanks for the help, I guess."

"We're happy to help," Twilight said "even if you were a bit of a handful."

"Only a bit of a handful? I really need to work on my obnoxiousness," Beetlejuice commented.

"Oh Beetlejuice," Lydia said, slightly giggling "anyway, I really appreciate all of your help, even yours" she gestured to Twilight & Starlight "though I've never really been the kind of girl who likes ponies. That seems more like Claire Brewster's thing."

"Whoa babes, I just realized, that pony does sound kinda like that brat," Beetlejuice commented "wonder why I didn't see it before."

"Even if I knew what you're talking about, I am certain I don't sound like…," Twilight said, before BJ used his powers to turn her head into that of Lydia's selfish classmate "like, oh my gosh Lydia Deetz, you are, like such a loser or whatever," she said in Claire's voice before her head returned to normal.

"Never do that again!" Twilight said angrily.

"BJ, that wasn't nice," Lydia replied, but her tone and smile indicated that she didn't feel too mad about it.

"Now that you're back babes, I'm gonna throw a big party to celebrate your return," Beetlejuice said "you guys can come too, I guess."

"Where is this party?" Twilight asked.

"The Neitherworld," Beetlejuice replied.

"Hmm, well, despite how much of a pest you've been, it would be fun to visit another world," Twilight said "of course, I'll need to pack some paper and pencils for documenting everything. Oh, and a camera too of course. In fact, I was reading a fascinating book on the afterlife earlier today, and I'm interested in seeing if it matches up with that."

"Yeah, great," Beetlejuice said, clearly not interested "but if you're gonna go, you're going to need a makeover; I can't be seen with a pair of sparkly, brightly colored ponies, think of the damage it would do to my reputation."

"I don't think your reputation can get anymore damaged than it is already," Lydia joked.

"Well, what sort of makeover did you have in mind?" Twilight asked.

* * *

"I can't believe I agreed to this."

Twilight sulked, as she stood in BJ's Roadhouse in the Neitherworld. Thanks to the ghost's magic, her coat & mane were the same striped colors as his coat, as well as being messy& unkempt, and the feathers on her wings sagged, as if they were old and unused.

"At least you look better than I do," Starlight commented, her mane now a sickly green and covered in cobwebs. With her grayish coat, she resembled the mythical zomponies she had heard about.

"Just be thankful Rarity isn't here to see us; she'd freak out," Twilight commented.

"Oh yeah."

"Really nice place you got here," Freakazoid said to the host.

"Thanks, it's a great place to hang my hat," Beetlejuice said, placing a hat in a nearby noose "visual humor, you know I love it."

He then floated over to the fridge "aah a beetle; I've gone most of the day without one of these babies," he said, before crunching down on it, much to disgust of many "mmm, still crunchy."

"Ahh Beetlejuice, zis is a very delightful party, no?" Jacques asked "and I am happy to see zat Lydia is okay."

"You're even lucky I invited you, bone brain," Beetlejuice told him.

"Wait, how can a French skeleton be here?" Twilight asked "did he die and lose all his skin or something? It doesn't make any sense!"

"Something tells me logic isn't really a big priority here," Starlight told her.

"Hoo doggie Beetlejuice, this here is some party," said the Monster Across the Street "I especially like them two fillies over there," he added, pointing at the ponies "I don't reckon they're for sale."

"For the right price," Beetlejuice told him.

"Beetlejuice, no, you're not selling them," Lydia said sternly "they're our friends."

"I think of them more as 'acquaintances,'" Beetlejuice replied.

"BJ."

"Okay okay, jeez; keep me from making a profit," he grumbled.

"Well, in honor of these here new arrivals, I'd like ta sing a song," the Monster said, and pulled out his banjo.

"Ooh a banjo, now we're talking," Wander said, pulling his out as well.

"Well I'll be, a fellow banjo enthusiast," the Monster said "come on pardner, let's play. Oh give me a home, where…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Beetlejuice yelled, and disappeared.

"Does anyone else think that guy looks like a bigger version of Wander?" Dudley asked.

"I didn't want to say anything, but yeah, they could be cousins," Freakazoid added.

Meanwhile, Beetlejuice reappeared in another part of the Roadhouse.

"Man, I thought dealing with one hairy, banjo playing freak was tough," he said, "I guess I'll relax by taking a few swings at the piñata."

He summoned up a blindfold and bat, and walked over to where Mr. Monitor was tied up and hanging from the ceiling.

"Now Beetlejuice, can't we talk about this?" he asked "how would you like a cut of the profits of your show?"

"I already get those," Beetlejuice told him.

"Your own prime time special?"

"That is pretty tempting," Beetlejuice said, mulling it over, "but I think I still wanna whack ya."

"Okay, okay, I'll give you your own mini-series!" the TV headed ghost said "I can ensure that you'll be seen on every TV in the Neitherworld, and become a household name."

"Sounds like a plan," Beetlejuice said "can I get that in writing?"

Monitor pulled a contract out of his jacket "just sign this, and we'll work things out at the Nutwork."

"Pleasure doing business with you," Beetlejuice said "now let me help you get back to your office," he said, winding up his bat "batter up!" And with that, he swung and sent the villain flying through the skies.

"You knew I was gonna do that, didn't you?" Beetlejuice said, to no one in particular.

Meanwhile, Twilight & Starlight had been taking the time to converse with Lydia.

"Forgive me for saying so, but it seems a little weird that you two are friends," Starlight said "I mean, don't his constant puns annoy you?"

"Sometimes Beetlejuice can be a little annoying," she said "okay, _a lot_ annoying; and yes, he's selfish, and rude, and smelly, and way too many more things to list. But, the two of us share a love of the macabre and spooky, and despite his gruff exterior, he can be nice. To me, not to anyone else, but it's a start."

"That's the great thing about friendship," Twilight said "you can be friends with somepony, even if they annoy you or you seem to be complete opposites; sometimes, even a little commonality can lead to a new pal."

"This sure seems a lot like the lesson you were trying to teach me earlier," Starlight noted.

"Hmm, I guess it does," Twilight said.

"Okay, enough lessons," Lydia said "we're here to party, remember?"

"Now you're talking babes!" Beetlejuice said, suddenly arriving on the scene "let's dance."

The two danced in mid-air as everyone watched them.

"I can't wait to tell everypony what I've seen here today," Twilight said "they probably won't believe me, but it'll sure make for an interesting book."

"Oh come on, can't you put the studying aside for one day and just enjoy yourself?" Starlight asked.

"Oh, all right; I suppose I can have a little fun," Twilight said "but I'm getting started on the book bright & early tomorrow."

"Yeah, I figured as much," her student replied, before both decided to join in the festivities.

* * *

Next time:

Upon hearing that E.V.I.L has been spotted in Paris, several of the heroes head there to find out what they're planning. They soon find help in the persona of two young superheroes, Ladybug & Cat Noir. But, a mysterious villain with his own agenda is also on the loose, and when he turns someone close to them into a monster, it may take all they have to save to the day. Stay tuned for the next adventure as L.O.V.E takes a trip to "The City of Fights."


End file.
